At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
She announced her abortion via fbk
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
