I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
