420 ftw
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
