sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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