he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
