mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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