not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
please come you make the beer taste better
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
