My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
That accounts for only three of the penises
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
