my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
She has the best kind of daddy issues
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
