I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i dont even know how to be here
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
