Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
