i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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