ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
