My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
