while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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