Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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