is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
a search helicopter?!
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
