So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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