make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
