I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
