I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Everyone says I win the strip club
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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