I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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