He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Randomize
