Just fell off a train. Bad.
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Everything about him screamed your future.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
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