You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Randomize
