I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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