piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
