I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Randomize
