I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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