So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
