I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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