im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize