We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
