i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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