i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Randomize
