I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
