): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
