Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
