Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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