You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize