I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Where is the hickey?
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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