It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Randomize
