Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
