once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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