do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
