Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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