I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
