i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
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