everyone is single if you try hard enough
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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