So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
