Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize