am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Randomize
