also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize