Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
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