this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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