playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
