I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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