After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
