I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
