your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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