you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
