Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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