i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Randomize
