So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
