I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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