watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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