it hurts more in the daytime
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
